Lars and the Real Community

This sermon is based on an idea and blog by Daniel G. Deffenbaugh, Associate Professor of Religion at Hastings College, Hastings, Nebraska USA. Much of it is in his words.

A couple of weeks ago Mary and I rented the movie Lars and the Real Girl. I actually think we rented it because it was one of those weeks were nothing else came out. We were not expecting that much; in fact, we knew nothing about it except that it had won some critical acclaim. Were we ever surprised... this strange and incredibly well done low budget movie turned out to completely illustrate for me what the kingdom of God might look like in a sleepy northern town. What in fact, I think the Kingdom of God looks is supposed to look like right here.

Lars Lindstrom is a pathologically shy young man who spends his days either at work or in a small apartment attached to the garage of his brother's house. On Sundays he has the opportunity to attend the local church where he tries as best as any awkward introvert can to become an active part of the community. His only comfort in life, it seems, is a powder blue blanket his mother knit for him while he was still in her womb. Lars never got to know his mother, however, since she died while giving birth to her son. He was then left to be raised by a grieving and emotionally unavailable father. As a result of these unfortunate circumstances, Lars's greatest discomfort in life is the touch of a human being – any human being. A friend's hand on his shoulder can send him into the deepest agony.


Knowing this, it is easy to understand why Lars tries to address his loneliness via the internet, ordering for himself a "fully functional" and life-like doll named Bianca, whom he immediately introduces to his brother and sister-in-law, and soon to the entire town, as his girlfriend. It is not long before Lars is seen accompanying Bianca in public, pushing her in a wheelchair (to which she has been confined from birth, he explains) and chatting with her about his childhood memories and his most intimate dreams. By all accounts it appears to be a budding romance, and going quite well, if it weren't for just one little problem. You know… the doll thing.

But here is where the Kingdom of God enters the picture. Were this one of those "realistic" films, we would at this point be treated to a kind of medical who-done-it where doctors chase down the patient's affliction and dismantle it piece by piece. Or we might see the derelict loner descend into a kind of delusional pathology that eventually manifests itself in mass murder. In any case, Lars would more than likely be portrayed as a psycho... as someone who is “other” and who we should somehow either fear or pity.

What makes this movie so powerful is that this does not happen.

See, it is not really a movie about Lars, the story is about his community, a town that has over the last twenty-seven years adopted him as its own. Lars is fortunate enough to live among an extended family that decides – beyond reason and despite fear – to stick it out with him, come what may. The community lovingly enters into his "delusion"... they begin to treat this lifelike extension of Lar’s need for love as one of their own. They care for her, they talk to her, they shop with and dress her, even give her a part time job. At one point, the local pastor even comments that Lars's companion "has become one of us. She is our teacher. She loves this town, and most of all she loves Lars."

After seeing this movie I was amazed that the town did what it did. It made me realize that this is the type of community I always talk about – that I would hope our churches either are, or could become... But at the same time, I realize that the church has all too often been content to uphold the status quo... to avoid the storms of this world and stay in the boat... and to mostly seek out people who are just like us.

Too bad the Bible is always trying to push us beyond our comfort zone. It makes it hard to just relax and think we have already done enough. Today we see a story in which Jesus has reached the end of his comfort zone – he is a Jewish prophet and teacher... he has a message for the people who go to his church... but that doesn’t mean he wants to interact with anyone else...

I love the story of the Canaanite woman because it throws an unwelcome wrench into the conventional image of the loving, accommodating, compassionate Jesus we all know and love. It certainly upsets Paul's frequent contention that in Christ there is no longer slave nor free, Jew nor Greek, male and female. On the contrary, Jesus here seems begrudgingly to offer his blessing to this woman... And the way I see it, this is the human Jesus that I can understand. We all have bad days, we all have our limits, we are all pushed to the point where we just don’t want to do the right thing anymore...

And there is always a good excuse... She was a woman. She was Canaanite, Lars has issues, that person has a disability... you get the idea...

I think this story made it into the Bible because it brings to light just how wrong Jesus’ first reaction was. We see it almost right away and we are shocked... and in that moment; we come to realize a little more deeply just what it is we expect of Jesus – and, dare I say it, just what we should expect from ourselves.

In the film, the love-starved Lars suspects that because of the hand he has been dealt in life he will have to endure a dismal existence devoid of the one thing he both craves and fears – human touch. Nearly three decades of being emotionally excluded by his father, and then by his brother, have left him with little choice but to find solace in a world of his own making. This retreat might have been complete had it not been for the realization on the part of his Christian community that they had a central role to play in suffering along with one of their own in order to keep him from slipping away from the fold.

To be honest it took a while for them to come around. The brother thinks Lars is crazy; the deacon at the church doesn’t want him to bring the doll to church. They invite the “couple” to a party and everyone feels uncomfortable... But... they soon come to see that there is a level of acceptance that we are supposed to have for each other – that there is a level of love that God expects us to have; which not only begins to break down barriers but goes further and actually heals.

It only took one wise comment from the Canaanite woman to bring Jesus to his senses. Were it only true that it would be so easy for me on most days. But we try. We try because ultimately Jesus did come to bring us that good news message that love can change the world. We try because most every one of us here can relate to the idea of being unloved. We try because God’s love for us can overflow into the world and make a difference.

The church exists as a place where we are strengthened to work at co-creating the world. The church is a place to be reminded of the values that God has in store for each and every one of us. It is, in fact, a consulate of God’s Kingdom in the world.

We are the hands and feet and heart of God, let’s continue to live up to the challenge.